Prince says, “The Internet is Dead.”
13 Jul
Prince, aka the Artist, proclaimed the internet dead. I hope this did not alarm you. Prince is wrong. The net is very much alive. He’s just a moron. Here’s the deal:
Prince once found himself without a record company. This frightened Prince badly. So wondered, “How will I ever connect with my fans?” Then he found the answer. He launched a website, sold his CD, made promises of special magic music for the website’s members and made a purple fortune. Then he closed the site without delivering any of the goods he’d promised. This is not a post about what a ripoff artist the artist is. That’s old news – anyone who’s ever bought a Prince CD knows they got ripped off. Rather, this is a post about why Prince fears the net.
Distributing his own music was neither complex nor costly. He found that a record label provided access to certain markets and did a lot of the promotional work, but that having one wasn’t necessary. He found that even a creepy little weirdo could sustain a music career without major backing. Now that he’s signed again – and considering returning to his old nemesis Warner Bros, what a hyprocrite - he fears that his music will be distributed without his authorization, er, make that without adding to his bank account. So like the true cry baby, completely-out-of-touch-with-reality wah wah wah loser he is, he proclaims the net is dead.
He may also fear that his legions of fans will discover how old his guitar chops are once exposed to real guitar players? Or how much vocal correction sits on his tracks compared to people who can actually sing? Who knows… What’s important is that there’s nothing to fear. The internet is not dead. It’s not even on life support. It’s still a new technology that evolves every day, vibrant and healthy. And unlike the purple creature in spiked heels, the net never had to change its name.
