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SINISTER

14.

Sometimes when I sat in my room, working at my desk in shorts and a sleeveless shirt, I felt like a normal kid who went to a normal school, one with no uniforms. The morning I worked on Creedy’s final, insulting assignment was not one of those times. Does everything have a soul… My keyboard was one my bed and I would’ve rather been goofing around with it, hammering out some melodies or experimenting with the modes. But I had to waste my Saturday morning replying to rhetoric.

I wrote:

Does Everything Have A Soul:

Anthony Calvin

Creedy – English Comp.

In answer to the philosophical question, which is also a q question deeply themed with religious points of views, does everything have a soul, we have to first answer the question what a soul is. Therefore, if we view the word “soul” in broad terms as the, “Life Force” of something that is living then we can easily see that everything that is living does, in fact and indeed, have a soul. Cats are alive and have life force and therefore a soul. Dogs are alive and have a life force and therefore have a soul. Horses and rhinoceros, too, are alive with their own life force and souls and so on and so on…

However, if we take the definition of soul a step further and understand that humans have spiritual awareness, or, in other words, knowledge of God the father, we see that humans have an immortal soul whereas cats, dogs, horses, rhinos and all other animals do not. Therefore and for the sake of persuasive argument we can say that everything has a soul but that humans as the only creatures with knowledge of God are the only ones to have immortal souls. The previously mentioned animals that are made up of matter such as bones and tissues die at the time of death and so does their soul because it lacks all knowledge of God. So yes, everything has a soul, but only humans have an immortal soul that is ever lasting. The only things that do not have souls, obviously, are inanimate objects.

I wondered if the rules changed if someone explained God to their cat? Would that cat then be expected to worship since it had been spiritually awakened? Or would it be allowed to die and slip into nothingness. I read the paper over and found a typo, an extra “q” before the word question. I thought about retyping it for about twenty second. It was the final assignment, though, and I had a solid A in the class. If a single typo brought my English Comp grade down to a B, then so be it.

If I did end up studying business at CU-Boulder, at least I wouldn’t be writing about religion. All the SMCA assignments seemed like a trick to me. Creedy had said this one didn’t have a minimum word count, but some kid would surely get penalized for not using enough words to make his aruguement. I’d thrown in a smart, “…For the sake of persuasive argument” to fulfill that obligation.

Garren would’ve written a masterpiece, then typed it over to eliminate the typo. When I thought about Garren, a lot of what SMCA preached stopped making sense. Like when Mr. Thomas told me, “Well, Anthony, if a man wants to make a living with the talents God gave him, I believe that God will help him find a way to do so.” It was total bullshit.

I heard my mom on the stairs and pushed my chair back, waiting for her. She stepped into my door, smiling big.

“How’s it going?”

“I’m done,” I said, “just double-checking my tenses.”

“That’s my good son.”

“Mom, what do you think of Creedy’s question, ‘Does everything have a soul?’”

“I think Mr. Creedy knows a lot more about souls than you and me. He’s been all over the world, you know?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that around school. But really, what do you think.”

She came into my room and sat down on my bed.

“All people are born with two souls.”

“Two souls,” I said. This was news to me. “Really?”

“One of the souls is evil. It is anger and envy, arrogance and resentment. The other soul is good. It is kindness and empathy. That soul is love. We live our lives and we feed those two souls. One of them survives.”

“Is Saint Michael’s aware of this two-soul theory of yours?”

“No, and you are not going to tell them. It’s a good school. It got you into the University of Colorado.”

“Yeah, okay. So what do you think of the statement, ‘God will help you find a way?’”

“Oh that’s easy,” she said. “That is absolutely true.”

“I was kind of hoping for another theory as good as the one about two-souls,” I said.

“You don’t think so?”She asked.

“If God wants some kid to grow up to be President of United States, God makes sure that kid gets born to the right family, a father with political connections or something. If some kid without that background wants to be the Commander in Chief, he’s going to have a tough road. I don’t think God’s going to help out much, no matter how good the kid would be in politics. That’s what I think.”

“So it’s all decided for you before you’re even in the womb, that’s what you believe?”

“Not decided, but some things are predestined. Look at Garren, if God wanted him to be happy, he would’ve made sure he got born to good parents, like nurturing ones. Instead he got a bad deal from day one. Everything’s going to be harder for him all because of the family he was born to.”

“And that’s why God made sure he found you.”

“Like I can do anything,” I said. “What I’m saying is that a lot of stuff, maybe even most stuff, gets decided by who you belong to, your family.”

“I wanted you to go to the best school in Colorado and God helped me find a way.”

“No,” I said. “God tricked you into sending me to Saint Michael’s.”

“You’ll appreciate the education when you get to CU,” she said and stood up.

I asked her all of a sudden, “What if I didn’t want to go to CU?” The question was out of my mouth before I’d realized I was forming words. It’d just slipped.

“Anthony,” she said. “You’re already accepted.”

I looked down at my feet.

She added, “Not going to college, that would break my heart. Hurry up and finish your homework because this weekend is all about me and you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes,” she said, “You’ll need clothes to wear at your father’s and I’m taking you shopping.”

“Okay, Mom.”

She left. I let out a long breath.

Not going to CU would break her heart…

Was there any better proof that some things were decided for you? I would end up working an office job, being a businessman, and hating it all because I was born to a mother who needed a son that went to college. And Garren, he’d get screwed, too, all because he’d been born half-a-step from trailer park trash.

Some people might think that all this meant that God didn’t exist. Others might think he played favorites. I had no doubt that God existed and I knew it wasn’t favoritism that made some lives better than others. It was indifference. God simply didn’t care.

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